Marriage and Family Lesson, March 6, 2016

This year our stake is focusing on the theme of "Marriage and Family". As a part of this focus, we have been asked during the course of the year to devote 4 Relief Society lessons to specific topics within this theme. For our first "Marriage and Family" lesson, Bishop Franson asked us to focus on the following quote taken from the Proclamation on the Family. It reads:

"Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity."

We would encourage you to take some time to read and ponder the scriptures, articles, and comments below that were shared with regards to this lesson and topic. As you do so, please know you are loved. Please know that our stake presidency, bishopric, and Relief Society presidency are aware of you and the wide diversity in our individual marital and family situations. Above all else, we sincerely pray you will feel the Lord's tender awareness of you and that the Spirit will teach each of us what we need to learn and know regarding this topic. All of us our defenders of the family and the sanctity of the marriage relationship. Each of us has been affected by these relationships and can testify to why they are so important. Sister Bonnie Oscarson, General Young Women's President, shared the following during her April 2015 talk at the General Women's Meeting: 

Each of us has a part to play in the plan, and each of us is equally valued in the eyes of the Lord. We should remember that a loving Heavenly Father is aware of our righteous desires and will honor His promises that nothing will be withheld from those who faithfully keep their covenants.

Heavenly Father has a mission and plan for each of us, but He also has His own timetable. One of the hardest challenges in this life is to have faith in the Lord's timing. It's a good idea to have an alternative plan in mind, which helps us to be covenant-keeping, charitable, and righteous women who build the kingdom of God no matter which way our lives go. We need to teach our daughters to aim for the ideal but plan for contingencies.

During this 20th anniversary year of the family proclamation, I would like to issue a challenge for all of us as women of the Church to be defenders of "The Family: A Proclamation to the World." We need to boldly defend the Lord's revealed doctrines describing marriage, families, the divine roles of men and women, and the importance of homes as sacred places--even when the world is shouting in our ears that these principles are outdated, limiting, or no longer relevant.

Everyone, no matter what their marital circumstance or number of children, can be defenders of the Lord's plan described in the family proclamation. If it is the Lord's plan, it should also be our plan.”

Why is marriage between a man and woman ESSENTIAL to God’s eternal plan?

“Two of the vital pillars that sustain Father in Heaven’s plan of happiness are marriage and the family. Their lofty significance is underscored by Satan’s relentless efforts to splinter the family and to undermine the significance of temple ordinances, which bind the family together for eternity. The temple sealing has greater meaning as life unfolds. It will help you draw ever closer together and find greater joy and fulfillment in mortality.” (Richard G. Scott,“The Eternal Blessings of Marriage”, April 2011)

Why are children ENTITLED to birth within the bonds of matrimony? Why does this make any difference?

(The following information was taken from an article published in the August 2005 Ensign entitled "Strengthening the Family: Within the Bonds of Matrimony")

·        The word bond has many meanings, including “a covenant,” “a uniting force,” and “an adhesive that combines, unites, and strengthens.” The bonds of matrimony are bonds of love uniting two people in a covenant relationship that strengthens them and gives them a higher purpose. In this sense, these bonds liberate men and women to reach their full eternal potential.

·        Research by family scholars supports the Church’s position. A recent publication compares children of single or cohabiting parents with children of married parents. While single parents often succeed in rearing well-adjusted, responsible children, the report concludes that, taken as a whole, children who live with married parents are less likely to divorce or become unwed parents themselves, are less likely to experience poverty, tend to have higher grades, are more likely to attend college, and experience lower rates of unemployment. On average, children of married parents also experience better physical and mental health, have lower rates of substance abuse, experience less child abuse, and are less likely to commit suicide or engage in criminal behavior. Parents can give children no greater gift than the example of a strong, loving marriage.

What does it mean to “honor marital vows with complete fidelity”?

(The following information was taken from an article in the September 2009 Ensign titled, "Fidelity in Marriage: It's More Than You Think". It was written by Kenneth W. Matheson, a professor in the school of social work at BYU.)

*Definition of fidelity:

1.strict observance of promises, duties, etc.

2.loyalty

3.conjugal faithfulness

4.      faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support

EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY: When emotions and thoughts are focused on someone other than a spouse.

·        Doesn’t usually happen suddenly; rather, it occurs gradually—often imperceptibly at first. This is one reason why those involved often feel innocent of any wrongdoing.

·        Relationships with others of the opposite sex are not in and of themselves a problem or a fracture of fidelity. In fact, many of our meaningful relationships with neighbors, Church friends, co-workers, and others have a balanced and important place in our lives. However, there is a danger zone that people may cross into if they are not watchful.

PHYSICAL INFIDELITY

SPIRITUAL FIDELITY:

·        This phrase underscores the seriousness of the choices we make because it recognizes the eternal potential of our marital relationships as well as the importance of acting in accordance with the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

·        Spiritual fidelity also causes us to consider the sacred covenants we have made in the temple and how the very nature of our thoughts and deeds can undermine those covenants. In other words, if a person is unfaithful spiritually he is not honoring his temple covenants even though he has not committed physical acts of intimacy.

·        Matthew 5:27-28: whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

·        1 Thessalonians 5:22: Abstain from appearance of evil

·        Alma 12:12-15, thoughts and words must be pure because we shall be judged for our thoughts as well as our actions, good or ill

·        2 Nephi 9:39, to be carnally minded is death but to be spiritually minded is life eternal

·        Mosiah 4:30, watch your thoughts, words, deeds and observe commandments, continue in faith---o remember, remember!

·        When a spouse has developed a relationship that compromises his or her spiritual fidelity, he or she should be humble and take the necessary steps to restore the marital relationship. Fasting, prayer, temple attendance, scripture study, and pondering the Lord’s teachings are essential in helping one remain pure and true to one’s spouse and in healing the relationship.

·        In situations such as these, spouses should remember that change is not easy and that neither spouse can change the other person. Instead, spouses can commit to making changes in their individual behavior. They can also commit to seeking the Lord’s help through the power of the Atonement in order to become their best selves, for their own sakes and for the sake of their spouses.

·        It is helpful to focus on a spouse’s strengths rather than on their deficiencies. Our first concern should be the changes we personally need to make in our own actions and attitudes.

·        “If you are married, are you faithful to your spouse mentally as well as physically? Are you loyal to your marriage covenants by never engaging in conversation with another person that you wouldn’t want your spouse to overhear? Are you kind and supportive of your spouse and children?” (Robert D. Hales)

Take a moment to search and answer the following questions during your scripture study: 

1) What examples do we find in the scriptures regarding the blessings of marital fidelity? What characteristics exemplify their relationship?

2) What examples do we find in the scriptures of those who experienced marital infidelity? What are some of the consequences of these choices?

      Elder Robert D.Hales has said:

“...none of us marry perfection; we marry potential. The right marriage is not only about what I want; it’s also about what she—who’s going to be my companion—wants and needs me to be.”

I sent out an email on Saturday asking sisters to reflect on the following questions:

1) In your experience, what elements are necessary between a man and woman to have a "good" marriage or relationship? How would you define a "successful" marriage?

2) What are the things that can ruin, tear down, or destroy a marriage or harm a relationship? 

3) What have you found personally to be the best ways to strengthen a relationship/marriage? 

4) What does the phrase "to honor marital vows with complete fidelity" mean to you? 

I received the following beautiful responses and wanted to share these thoughts.

Michele Carnesecca: 

“I have a simple thought that has been a great visual for me in my marriage.  If you picture a triangle, the husband is at the bottom left point, the wife is at the bottom right point of the triangle and the Savior is at the top point.  As the husband and wife come closer to the Savior, they invariably become closer to each other.  It doesn’t mean they are perfect, but it means that they are striving to be like Christ, repent of wrongdoings, forgive freely and try to be like the Savior.  Just a thought.” (Michele Carnesecca)

Amy Reid:

*I think good marriages have good communication between the spouses, the two people look for the good in each other and build each other up, and they are best friends as well as romanticly attracted and intimate with each other. They also have common goals. I think successful marriages in an eternal sense must have the Savior as part of their marriage--Christ can help both partners forgive each other and repent, build unity and unconditional love, and provide an example for both to follow.

*Satan LOVES to tear down marriages! It's his favorite thing to spend his time and energy doing because marriage is so critical to our Heavenly Father's plan, and he hates that! If he destroys our marriage, everything else can easily crumble.  He destroys marriage by encouraging us to find fault with one another, to be slow to forgive, to be too prideful to repent. In modern times he is trying to have us busy ourselves with so many mundane tasks that we lose sight of priorities and we don't nurture our marriage. 

Also, Satan LOVES to have us think that if marriage is hard at times, we should just quit! That's what he's leading the entire world to believe--that it's no big deal to quit when things get hard.

*Ted and I strive to go on weekly dates very regularly. For us, it has really strengthened our marriage since we were newlyweds. With 5 children, we need the weekly dates now more than ever! We have fun together, we laugh, we cry, we nurture our love for each other, we remember why we got into this relationship in the first place, we discuss goals and spiritual thoughts, we share our testimonies, and on and on!  I cannot emphasize enough how crucial weekly dates have been for us!

We also regularly set goals together. Sometimes it is about our food storage, sometimes about buying a new house, or working on parenting together, or supporting one another in our callings, etc. Currently, Ted & I are taking a Dave Ramsey finance class every Friday evening together and we have set goals together to follow God's counsel to get out of debt and be prepared financially for what may come. 

Also, we constantly look for little ways we can ease each other's burdens and strengthen each other. For example, yesterday, when I was having one of THOSE days (the kind when you want to make a blanket fort and hide in it all day!), Ted brought a big dr. pepper in to me at school and left me the sweetest little note on a post=it note on my desk, telling me how much he loved me and that he was praying that my day would get better. How could I not smile and carry on after that??  How could I not just love his unselfish gesture and realize he's in it forever--the good, the bad, and the ugly?  And today, Ted really needed a break from the noisy, active, needy kids, so I took care of them for several hours so Ted could work on projects for our home in the garage with music playing and saws whirring. He came inside with a big smile on and renewed energy, and I felt so happy for him that he felt renewed and fulfilled. It's the little everyday things that can make a difference between being "roommates" and being best friends and eternal companions.

*I think it means treating that other person with utmost respect, never emotionally or physically abusing the other in any way. I also believe that it means that we always talk about the other with love and respect, even (and especially) when the other spouse is not present. It means not stepping even a toe into a "gray area" in our thoughts or actions that might lead our spouse to feel insecure, suspicious, or hurt. I believe it also means again to include Christ equally yoked in our marriage and to actively use his gift of atonement to keep the covenants we made at the alter binding."

Aimee Tubbs:

 “I have been teaching the Mia Maid classes at the ward conferences on the importance of strengthening families.  As I read your email, a quote from a video entitled, "Families Can Be Together Forever" came to my mind. So I thought I'd share it.

   President Eyring (about halfway through the video) - "He [meaning Heavenly Father] has offered us the family as an example of an ideal setting in which we can learn how to love as he loves. That is because the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience are in family relationships. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is."

I love it when he says it in the video. It's very powerful to me.

His words have just really struck me and made me realize that a great purpose for having a family is to learn how to love as God and the Savior loves.  It makes me re evaluate how I"m doing in love when I ponder on my family relationships. I notice that I have some work to do in my learning to love.  It is good to love others but really I can start by practicing love within the walls of my home and with my extended family.  And I can use the family setting to teach my children. To say, "practice now how you want to treat your future spouse and your future children by how you treat your siblings and other family members now." If they are selfish or jealous with their siblings, how will they be with a spouse? It's a good time to practice, and practice denotes a sense of time. Practice isn't a one time event and its learned, mastery comes with time and repetition. Continually correcting the mistakes and fine tuning the skills."

Jan Hamner:

 Question 1 .  Respect; friendship; common interests and values; communication; trust; appreciation; affection; forgiveness.  Leave room for each of you to grow.  Love is shown in different ways and forms; learn to recognize when and how you are being shown love.  Most important thing in your lives is the marriage.

Question 2.

Reverse of any of the above.  Belittling each other in any form.

Question 3.  Working through problems together.   Don't go to sleep angry.  Communicate, communicate, communicate!

Take family time; take alone together time.  

Question 4.  No affairs; no pornography

 The following video is a beautiful illustration of the tender love and strength that can be found within the sacred bonds of marriage:

ENDURING LOVE

As a Relief Society Presidency, we bear testimony of these sacred truths. No marriage is perfect...not one! Each of us struggle and each of us has to work hard. We know we have women whose hearts have been broken and whose families have suffered. The Lord wants each of us to be happy. He has given us these principles to help us find joy...he has also given us resources to rely upon when things may not be going exactly as we had planned. You have a Father in Heaven and a Savior who stand ready to listen, help, bless, and guide. You have extended family, good friends, a wonderful bishop, visiting teachers, and a Relief Society presidency who want to help. Please do not be afraid to reach out and seek help if you are seeking answers. The things in life that mean the most to us are those things we truly have worked the hardest for...and continue to work towards. Trust in the Lord's promises and timing. Trust in your spouse. Trust in the relationships you have invested time and energy...and trust the Lord has the potential to bless those relationships as you continue to work together. 

Relief Society Lesson, Sunday, February 14, 2016

Today's lesson was Lesson #3: Adversity--Part of God's Plan for Our Eternal Progress from the President Howard W. Hunter manual. The lessons was taught by Lindsie Mendenhall.

Lindsie had the class split into 5 different groups. Each group was assigned a section from the lesson and asked to read it then discuss the answers to questions that Lindsie gave each group. Below are the questions the different groups were asked to consider. Take a moment to read each section (click on the lesson title above to be redirected to lesson) and reflect on what your answers to these questions would be. If you would like to share some of your thoughts and feelings, please do not hesitate to comment below. We would love to hear from you!

Theme: “When [the difficulties of mortality] humble us and refine us and teach us and bless us, they can be powerful instruments in the hands of God to make us better people.”

• How can it help us to know that adversity is part of God's plan for our eternal progress? Why do you think adversity is a necessary part of mortality?

• Review President Hunter's teachings in section 2 about some of the purposes of adversity. How have you seen that adversity can we come to see adversity from Lord's eternal perspective?

• Why, as President Hunter teaches, do we have reason to be happy and optimistic even in times of difficulty? How can we develop greater optimism during such times? What are some blessings we continue to have even during the most severe adversity?

• How do we accept the Savior's invitation to let him carry our burdens and lighten our loads? What does it mean to take His yoke upon us? How has the Savior helped you in times of difficulty?

• President Hunter teaches that feelings of fear about the tribulations of the last days do not come from God. How is living by fear harmful? How can we live with hope and faith rather than by fear? 

Conclusion- 

"Are we prepared to surrender to God's commandment? 

Are we prepared to achieve victory over our appetites? 

Are we prepared to obey righteous law?

If we can honestly answer yes to those questions, we can bid fear to depart from our lives. Surely the degree of fear in our hearts may well be measured by our preparation to live righteously- living in a way that should characterize every Latter-day- Saint in every age and time." (President Howard W. Hunter)

Relief Society Lesson, January 31, 2016

This week's lesson was from the Howard W. Hunter lesson manual, Chapter 2: "My Peace I Give Unto You." The lesson was taught by Katia Brebberman.

(All QUOTES are taken directly from the manual and were read out loud in class today.)

How can we find true inner peace?

• By turning to God
• By trusting Him
• By exercising faith
• By striving to do His will

What are some synonyms for the word peace that can help us better understand the definition of this word?  tranquility, calm, quiet, order, harmony, no violence

How can we gain this inner peace promised to us by Christ?

QUOTE: On the last occasion that Jesus had supper with the Twelve, he washed their feet, broke bread for them, and passed them the cup; then, after Judas had left their midst, the Master spoke to them at some length. Among other things, he told of his impending death and of the legacy he left for each of them. He had accumulated no goods, property, nor wealth. The record tells us of no possessions other than the clothing he wore, and on the next day after the crucifixion this would be divided by the soldiers, who would cast lots for his coat. His bequest was given to his disciples in these simple yet profound words: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27)

What did legacy/inheritance did Christ leave His disciples?

QUOTE: Within a few hours they would be subjected to trouble, but with his peace they could overcome fear and stand firm.

His last statement to them before the closing prayer on that memorable evening was this: “… in the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33.)

Read Mosiah 16:9 and John 14:6. How do these verses describe Christ's role in our lives and in the world?

QUOTE: When we try to help those who have offended us, when we pray for those who have unrighteously used us, our lives can be beautiful. We can have peace when we come into a unity with the Spirit and with each other as we serve the Lord and keep his commandments.⁷

The world in which we live, whether close to home or far away, needs the gospel of Jesus Christ. It provides the only way the world will ever know peace. … We need a more peaceful world, growing out of more peaceful families and neighborhoods and communities. To secure and cultivate such peace, “we must love others, even our enemies as well as our friends” [Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith(2007), 393]. … We need to extend the hand of friendship. We need to be kinder, more gentle, more forgiving, and slower to anger.

We need to be the start of the chain reaction for good in this world. Where does President Hunter recommend we start? In our own FAMILIES!

QUOTE: There is no promise of peace to those who reject God, to those who will not keep his commandments, or to those who violate his laws. The Prophet Isaiah spoke of the decadence and corruption of leaders and then continued in his admonitions by saying: “But the wicked are like the troubled sea, when it cannot rest, whose waters cast up mire and dirt. There is no peace, saith my God, to the wicked.” (Isa. 57:20–21.) …

… Indifference to the Savior or failure to keep the commandments of God brings about insecurity, inner turmoil, and contention. These are the opposite of peace. Peace can come to an individual only by an unconditional surrender—surrender to him who is the Prince of peace, who has the power to confer peace.

A key to finding and maintaining the inner peace of Christ is by keeping His commandments and living righteously. We must be worthy of His Spirit and companionship. He has also promised that if we are living worthy, we can ask and He will bless us with the things we stand in need of.

Luke 11:9-10

QUOTE: A life filled with unselfish service will also be filled with peace that surpasses understanding. … This peace can come only through living the principles of the gospel. These principles constitute the program of the Prince of Peace.

It is interesting to note what a role service/serving others plays in every aspect of the gospel.

QUOTE: We pray that Satan’s efforts will be thwarted, that personal lives can be peaceful and calm, that families can be close and concerned with every member, that wards and stakes, branches and districts can form the great body of Christ, meeting every need, soothing every hurt, healing every wound until the whole world, as Nephi pleaded, will “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. …

“My beloved brethren,” continued Nephi, “this is the way; and there is none other way.” (2 Nephi 31:20–21.)

QUOTE: Jesus was not spared grief and pain and anguish and buffeting. No tongue can speak the unutterable burden he carried, nor have we the wisdom to understand the prophet Isaiah’s description of him as “a man of sorrows.” (Isa. 53:3.) His ship was tossed most of his life, and, at least to mortal eyes, it crashed fatally on the rocky coast of Calvary. We are asked not to look on life with mortal eyes; with spiritual vision we know something quite different was happening upon the cross.

Peace was on the lips and in the heart of the Savior no matter how fiercely the tempest was raging. May it so be with us—in our own hearts, in our own homes, in our nations of the world, and even in the buffetings faced from time to time by the Church. We should not expect to get through life individually or collectively without some opposition.

The Savior experienced every tribulation and affliction and yet demonstrated patience and peace. Cultivate faith. There will be opposition--but the Savior demonstrated how to find and live with peace.

QUOTE: One may live in beautiful and peaceful surroundings but, because of inner dissension and discord, be in a state of constant turmoil. On the other hand, one may be in the midst of utter destruction and the bloodshed of war and yet have the serenity of unspeakable peace. If we look to man and the ways of the world, we will find turmoil and confusion. If we will but turn to God, we will find peace for the restless soul. This was made clear by the words of the Savior: “In the world ye shall have tribulation” (John 16:33); and in his bequest to the Twelve and to all mankind, he said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth. …” (John 14:27.)

Read Matthew 11:28-29

The following story about Christ was read from the manual:

Let me recall one of the great stories of Christ’s triumph over that which seems to test us and try us and bring fear to our hearts. As Christ’s disciples had set out on one of their frequent journeys across the Sea of Galilee, the night was dark and the elements were strong and contrary. The waves were boisterous and the wind was bold, and these mortal, frail men were frightened. Unfortunately there was no one with them to calm and save them, for Jesus had been left alone upon the shore.

As always, he was watching over them. He loved them and cared for them. In their moment of greatest extremity they looked and saw in the darkness an image in a fluttering robe, walking toward them on the ridges of the sea. They cried out in terror at the sight, thinking that it was a phantom that walked upon the waves. And through the storm and darkness to them—as so often to us, when, amid the darknesses of life, the ocean seems so great and our little boats so small—there came the ultimate and reassuring voice of peace with this simple declaration, “It is I; be not afraid.” Peter exclaimed, “Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.” And Christ’s answer to him was the same as to all of us: “Come.”

Peter sprang over the vessel’s side and into the troubled waves, and while his eyes were fixed upon the Lord, the wind might toss his hair and the spray might drench his robes, but all was well. Only when with wavering faith he removed his glance from the Master to look at the furious waves and the black gulf beneath him, only then did he begin to sink. Again, like most of us, he cried, “Lord, save me.” Nor did Jesus fail him. He stretched out his hand and grasped the drowning disciple with the gentle rebuke, “O thou of little faith, [why] didst thou doubt?” Then safely aboard their little craft, they saw the wind fall and the crash of the waves become a ripple. Soon they were at their haven, their safe port, where all would one day hope to be. The crew as well as his disciples were filled with deep amazement. Some of them addressed him by a title which I declare today: “Truly thou art the Son of God.” (Adapted from Farrar,The Life of Christ, pp. 310–13; see Matt. 14:22–33.)

Never cease to call upon the Lord He will reach out HIs hand and help us. Each of us will have trials, afflictions, and hardships--it is a key reason why we are here on earth. But we have the Savior who will always reach out His hand to us and promises His peace. Our Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us...we need not fear. Our eyes must be firmly fixed on the Savior at all times.

QUOTE: It is my firm belief that if as individual people, as families, communities, and nations, we could, like Peter, fix our eyes on Jesus, we too might walk triumphantly over “the swelling waves of disbelief” and remain “unterrified amid the rising winds of doubt.” But if we turn away our eyes from him in whom we must believe, as it is so easy to do and the world is so much tempted to do, if we look to the power and fury of those terrible and destructive elements around us rather than to him who can help and save us, then we shall inevitably sink in a sea of conflict and sorrow and despair.

At such times when we feel the floods are threatening to drown us and the deep is going to swallow up the tossed vessel of our faith, I pray we may always hear amid the storm and the darkness that sweet utterance of the Savior of the world: “Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.” (Matt. 14:27.)

Relief Society Lesson, January 24, 2016

Shipshape and Bristol Fashion: Be Temple Worthy--in Good Times and Bad Times

by Elder Quentin L. Cook
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Today's lesson was taught by Amy Groves.
(The quotes listed below are directly from Elder Cook's talk which can be accessed by clicking the link above. "Comments made" were those thoughts offered by different sisters in class.)

What does it mean to be "shipshape and bristol fashion"?

Quote: When I was a young missionary assigned to the British Mission, my first area of labor was in what was then the Bristol District. One of the local Church leaders emphasized that missionaries serving in that area needed to be “shipshape and Bristol fashion.” 
Initially I didn’t understand the point he was making. I soon learned the history and meaning of the nautical phrase “shipshape and Bristol fashion.” At one time Bristol was the second busiest port in the United Kingdom. It had a very high tidal range of 43 feet (13 m), the second highest in the world. At low tide when the water receded, the old ships would hit bottom and fall on their sides, and if the ships were not well built, they would be damaged. In addition, everything that was not carefully stowed away or tied down would be thrown in a chaotic fashion and ruined or spoiled.  After I understood what that phrase meant, it was clear that this leader was telling us that, as missionaries, we must be righteous, follow rules, and be prepared for difficult situations.
This same challenge is applicable to each of us. I would describe being “shipshape and Bristol fashion” as being temple worthy—in good times and in bad times.

We know one of the purposes of coming to earth is to be tried and tested although we never know when those trials may come or what we may be asked to face. Despite the uncertainties, we do know that righteous living and preparation can provide divine protection in any circumstance. "If we are prepared, we shall not fear".

What is the difference between being perfected through Christ's Atonement and perfectionism?

Comments Made:

• One brings  hope and joy and the other brings despair and never measuring up.
• Perfectionism often means wanting to control everything and always be in control versus allowing the Savior to be in control and trusting His wisdom and timing.

What do we know about Satan's plan?

Quote: The adversary has been successful in planting a great myth in the minds of many people. He and his emissaries declare that the real choice we have is between happiness and pleasure now in this life and happiness in a life to come (which the adversary asserts may not exist). This myth is a false choice, but it is very seductive.

Compare that to the Savior's beautiful plan for us.

Quote: The ultimate noble purpose of God’s plan of happiness is for righteous disciples and covenant families to be united in love, harmony, and peace in this life and attain celestial glory in the eternities with God the Father, our Creator; and His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, our Savior.

Take a few minutes to read the Sermon on the Mount found in Matthew 5 or 3 Nephi 12. What stands out to you about the importance of having a solid foundation and being built "within"?

Comments Made:

• These are ACTION words. We are asked to be constantly seeking, growing, learning vs. the world who would have us believe it is "all about me". We cannot be complacent with the world or worldly things. We need to take action and prepare ourselves.
• It is interesting to note that during this time period when Christ gave the Sermon on the Mount, the Jews performed very outward/physical religious observance but Christ is actually speaking about what is internal. We cannot judge what we see with our physical eyes. We must learn to see with our hearts. Look inward.
• We are in the process of "becoming". It is a lifetime process, not a one time event. As long as we are on the right course, we are progressing and can be assured we are trying and doing our best.
• Lots of the attributes described in these verses are those that we often develop as we are experiencing trials. With a change in attitude, we truly can come to see the blessings and opportunities that are presented to us in the form of trials and adversity. We must learn to see what the Lord is trying to teach us and help us become.
• We become the light spoken of by Christ as we strive to do those things every day that invite that light into our lives.
• The world tries to teach us it is all about "me". Christ is teaching us to focus outside ourselves and the joy found in serving others.

Quote: For many centuries the gospel of Jesus Christ has inspired beliefs and established standards of conduct as to what is righteous, desirable, and moral and results in happiness, felicity, and joy. However, the principles and basic morality the Savior taught are under serious attack in today’s world. Christianity is under attack. Many believe that what is moral has basically changed.

We live in difficult times. There is an increased tendency to “call evil good, and good evil.” A world that emphasizes self-aggrandizement and secularism is cause for great concern. One prominent writer, not of our faith, has put it this way: “Unfortunately I see little evidence that people are actually happier in the emerging dispensation, or that their children are better off, or that the cause of social justice is well-served, or that declining marriage rates and thinning family trees … promise anything save greater loneliness for the majority, and stagnation overall.”

Elder Cook discusses 3 things we can do to improve our preparation and ability to live righteously.

1) Righteous Self-Control and Conduct

Quote: ...“self-control is like a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger it gets. Avoiding something tempting once will help you develop the ability to resist other temptations in the future.”

A principle of eternal progression is that exercising self-control and living righteously strengthen our ability to resist temptation. This is true both in the spiritual realm and in temporal matters.

2) Honoring the Sabbath will increase righteousness and be a protection for the family.

Quote: In the last six months, a most remarkable change has occurred in the Church. This has been in the response of the members to renewed emphasis on the Sabbath by the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve and to President Russell M. Nelson’s challenge to make the Sabbath a delight.²⁷ Many members understand that truly keeping the Sabbath day holy is a refuge from the storms of this life. It is also a sign of our devotion to our Father in Heaven and an increased understanding of the sacredness of sacrament meeting. Still, we have a long way to go, but we have a wonderful beginning. I challenge all of us to continue to embrace this counsel and improve our Sabbath worship.

3) Divine protections are provided when we are righteous.

Quote: My dear brothers and sisters, life is not easy, nor was it meant to be. It is a time of testing and trial. Like the old ships in Bristol Harbor, there will be times when the tide goes out and it seems as if everything in this world keeping us afloat disappears. We may hit the bottom and even be tipped over on our sides. Amid such trials, I promise you that living and maintaining temple-worthy lives will hold together all that really matters. The sweet blessings of peace, happiness, and joy, along with the blessings of eternal life and celestial glory with our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, will be realized.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Today Andrea Tholstrom taught the Relief Society lesson from the Ezra Taft Benson manual, Chapter 24 "A Christ-Centered Life".

Andrea began by sharing a story about an event that happened a couple of weeks ago in their home. She had set out their family nativity on a table that she frequently walked by during the day. As she was passing by the nativity one day, she noticed someone had moved the animals so that they were circled around the baby Christ figure. When she asked her children about it, Sophie admitted she had moved the animals so that they could better see the Christ child. A couple of days later, Andrea noticed all the characters in the nativity were now facing in and circled around the Christ child. Again, Sophie admitted she had moved them because she wanted to be sure EVERYONE could see the baby. Andrea was touched by the actions of her daughter who wanted Christ to be the center of the nativity and wanted to be sure everyone could see Him.

Is our life centered around Christ?

The following was shared from the lesson manual, Chapter 24:

President Ezra Taft Benson frequently quoted the Savior’s counsel to the twelve Nephite disciples: “What manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am” (3 Nephi 27:27).

“I testify to you that there is no greater, more thrilling, and more soul-ennobling challenge than to try to learn of Christ and walk in His steps. Our model, Jesus Christ, walked this earth as ‘the Exemplar.’ He is our Advocate with the Father. He worked out the great atoning sacrifice so we could have a fullness of joy and be exalted in accordance with His grace and our repentance and righteousness. He did all things perfectly and commands that we be perfect even as He and His Father are perfect. (See 3 Ne. 12:48.)

“‘What would Jesus do?’ or ‘What would He have me do?’ are the paramount personal questions of this life. Walking in His way is the greatest achievement of life. That man or woman is most truly successful whose life most closely parallels that of the Master.”

As a class, we read 2 Peter 1:4-8. This scripture by the Apostle Peter spoke of the process by which a person can be made a partaker “of the divine nature”. This is important, for if we truly become partakers of the divine nature, we shall become like Him.

Andrea focused on 3 divine attributes of Christ: faith, patience, and kindness.

 

1) FAITH: Consider the beautiful account of Christ calming the storm. 

What are some of the storms we face in life? (Mental health issues, family members who are inactive or struggling with their faith, financial concerns, children fighting, the world attacking sacred beliefs, etc.) 

How can faith in Christ help us "calm our storms" and find peace? We must have faith in Jesus Christ. We must CHOOSE to have faith. It is a choice we make daily about where to place our trust and where to center our beliefs. It doesn't mean our storms or trials will instantly be removed but it does mean we can have firm hope that we will be successful and find ultimate peace THROUGH our trials. 

2) PATIENCE: Andrea shared the story about a favorite aunt of hers that has suffered some serious trials and challenges in her life but has consistently chosen to exercise patience and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. 

From the lesson manual: "Patience is another form of self-control. It is the ability to postpone gratification and to bridle one’s passions. In his relationships with loved ones, a patient man does not engage in impetuous behavior that he will later regret. Patience is composure under stress. A patient man is understanding of others’ faults.

A patient man also waits on the Lord. We sometimes read or hear of people who seek a blessing from the Lord, then grow impatient when it does not come swiftly. Part of the divine nature is to trust in the Lord enough to “be still and know that [he is] God” (D&C 101:16).

A [person] who is patient will be tolerant of the mistakes and failings of his loved ones. Because he loves them, he will not find fault nor criticize nor blame."

3) KINDNESS: Andrea shared the following images and story from the New Testament.

John 8:3-11

The Pharisees and scribes felt very justified in their treatment of this woman who was taken in adultery. Look at their faces. When she was brought before Christ, they expected the full extent of the Law of Moses to be exercised. She deserved it. She had sinned. But look at the Savior's face.

He chose to look upon her with kindness and compassion. How can His example influence how we look upon and treat others? Do we hope Christ will look upon us with forgiveness, kindness and compassion? Should we not do the same to others? 

"One who is kind is sympathetic and gentle with others. He is considerate of others’ feelings and courteous in his behavior. He has a helpful nature. Kindness pardons others’ weaknesses and faults. Kindness is extended to all—to the aged and the young, to animals, to those low of station as well as the high."

As we approach this Christmas season, may we each stop and contemplate how we can turn our lives more to the Savior. May we reach out to others and seek to alleviate their burdens through patience and kindness. 

5th Sunday Combined Meeting, November 2015

We met today as a combined group for a 5th Sunday lesson taught by Bishop Kevin Franson. Below you will find Bishop Franson's notes and quotes as well as additional comments and observations that were made by class members.

"Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith."  

(President Dieter Uchtdorf)

Consider the following quotes. How accurately do they describe the time we currently live in? Take particular note of the individual who is speaking and when the quote was given. (Clicking on the reference at the end of the quote will take you to the full article.)

Today there are many issues under debate as controversies rage all around us. It should be evident to all that we need divine direction, as men and women who argue their causes seem to be unable to come to workable or peaceable solutions. It is sad indeed that the world does not know or accept the fact that in our midst is a prophet through whom God can direct the solution of world problems.

First Presidency Message, August 1979, N. Eldon Tanner

I stress that I come neither as an alarmist nor as a pessimist, but as one who seeks in his gentle way to remind us of this reality lest we be struck “with wonder and astonishment” and become dismayed and dislocated by difficulties that emerge when “all hell is moved,” because the restored kingdom is really rolling now. We may never become accustomed to untrue and unjust criticism of us but we ought not to be immobilized by it. Neither should we be surprised at the proximity of such protagonists and the falsity and the fury of their pronouncements. President Joseph F. Smith said, “there are those—and they abound largely in our midst—who will shut their eyes to every virtue and to every good thing connected with this latter-day work, and will proud out floods of falsehood and misrepresentation against the people of God.” President Smith, who endured so much of that proximate persecution, did what we must also do. He said of such detract , “I forgive them for this. I leave them in the hands of the just Judge” (Gospel Doctrine, p. 337).

All Hell Is Moved, Elder Maxwell, November 1977

President Cannon, who knew that the adversary regards this telestial turf as his own, said that Satan will vigorously resist all rezoning efforts because this is his world. President Cannon further observed that the Saints—meaning you and I—must not make the mistake of assuming the existence of any truce between the forces of Satan and God. To believe so, said President Cannon, is “a very great delusion, and a very common one.”

President Cannon then warned that the forms of resistance to righteousness will strike us “with wonder and astonishment.” This, he said, would occur because “the war” which was waged in heaven has been transferred to the earth,” and that this conflict, he said, “will [come to] occupy the thoughts and minds of all the inhabitants of the earth” (Journal of Discourses 11:227–29). Brothers and sisters, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints will be at the epicenter of all that.
President Cannon, May 1866 [from Elder Maxwell's talk]

What do these quotes teach us about the Gospel?

They help to validate, sustain, and verify that these are prophets, seers, and revelators.

What do you learn from them?

What about today's events, issues, challenges?

We have prophets, seers, revelators

What are they currently saying?

Do we believe that they are prophets, seers, and revelators?

What if we still have questions? Where do we find answers?

• Desire to believe
• Scriptures/prophets :: what scriptures tell us to ask?

Mormon 9:21

James 1:5

• Do the will of God
• Prayer
• Ponder
• Fasting
• Trusted Friends
• Be obedient

• Counsel with those with priesthood keys (bishop, stake president, quorum president)
• Delegated authority with keys (auxiliary presidents)

Not…

The Internet

Social media

Must be careful in social media, doubts/questions are natural and normal, where and how we express them can impact others … greatly

Mormon 9:27

O then despise not, and wonder not, but hearken unto the words of the Lord, and ask the Father in the name of Jesus for what things soever ye shall stand in need. Doubt not, but be believing, and begin as in times of old, and come unto the Lord with all your heart, and work out your own salvation with fear and trembling before him.

(Another excellent resource regarding this topic is Elder Ballard's talk "God Is At the Helm" from the October 2015 General Conference. Click HERE for the link.)